The Daily Scribbler

An interview with George R.R. Martin*

2012-01-17T19:33:00.001+02:00

It's hard to go back writing in a rational way after trying the write-whatever-the-fuck-you-feel-like-writing way. Can I go back and write about how much pleasure does my new coffee machine brings me? What about the book that I am reading? Wouldn't I belittle G.R.R. Martin's master piece if I try to describe how much better it is than Tolkien's Lord of The Rings?
I wonder what would a chat with Martin over a good Columbian/Ethiopian blend coffee be like? Perhaps he hates coffee. I can picture him all fat and sweaty telling me: "I'm more of a tea person". I look at him and say: "I can't understand, how can you not be a coffee person? You are probably one of the most famous fiction novelists of the new millennia and you don't drink coffee?" With a mocking grin he says:"No". Still unable to fathom his taste of hot beverages: "… but aren't all writers supposed to drink Starbucks's coffee and use a MacBook to generate creative ideas and bestselling novels? Aren't there some sort of pre-requisites in order to be published in the Newyorker?" He stays silent for a minute or two, then he says: "perhaps with a lot of sugar and cream I would be able to drink a cup of coffee." So I ask him: "shall I order you a double-double?" He nods. Five minutes later I am back with a medium sized mug: "here it is a double-double, just the way you like it."
Not wanting to waste any more time, I fire my first question: "how can you generate so many creative ideas?"
"I write more than I read. I don't waste my time reading other novels. I'd rather listen to music, and contemplate Damien Hirst's, Enno de Kroon's and Jed Martin's art works." He takes a sip of the coffee I got him, I can see that he did not like it. "De Kroon and Hirst I know them, but who is this Jed Martin?" It couldn't be… Displaying a shy smirk he says: "Well Jed Martin is a fictitious artist invented by Houellebecq. If Jed Martin existed he would've been my favorite artist of all times." I say nothing, he adds "What? Aren't we allowed to choose fictitious artists? There is nothing wrong with appreciating fictitious people, and making imaginary friends. Just like this interview we're having, remember it's all happening in your mind. You are not in Manhattan , and you are certainly not in Starbucks. Remember that you are sitting on your couch imagining this failed interview and watching BBC news worrying about the upcoming great depression! "

*Fictitious interview with George R.R. Martin

Cell 201 B

2012-01-08T02:20:00.001+02:00

She…
If I write what's on my mind she will surely hate me.
She'll call me an arrogant freak or some ugly names.
She will call me a traitor, a cheater and a clan deserter.

He…
If I write what's on my mind, he'll condemn me to hell.
He'll send angels to hunt me, and saints to capture me.
They will have me purged, ruptured, and mended by the Holy Ghost.

He…
If I write what's on my mind, he'll condemn me to heaven.
He'll send demons to hunt me, and evil spirits to possess me.
They will have me purified, crucified, and baptized in ice and fire.

You…
If I write what's on my mind, you will understand me, and you will like it.
You will write me back, you will feed my grandeur delusions, and my megalomaniac tendencies.
Just like two schizophrenic patients, we will nourish our respective deliriums.
Together we shall lead this decadent world into a second renaissance.

Sleepless

2012-01-05T01:03:00.001+02:00

People never sleep at night. They go out, they stay home,
They drink, they read, watch a musical or a TV show.
People never sleep at night. They go out, they stay home,
They make love, they play chess, write a post, delete it and write it again.
People don't work during the day. They spend time,
Making time, wasting time, they read blogs and tweet their thoughts.
People don't work during the day. They spend time,
Making plans, what to read, what to watch, whom to love,
What to write when the night time comes.

Holiday season

2011-12-31T01:12:00.001+02:00

As I am sitting in my living room watching Gad El Maleh and enjoying the last few days of my xmas vacation in Lebanon, I came to realize that I am actually looking forward to go back to Paris.

Nine days in Lebanon had seen me socially worn out. I have never been involved in so many social activities. Visiting close friends, not so close friends, parents of friends (whom I love as much as my own), ex-professors, future/previous work supervisors, family members, etc, etc…

For those who know me well, nothing tortures me more than social obligations and nothing gives me more pleasure than riding my bike. Well during this holiday season, I have barely ridden my bike and had tons of social obligations! GO FIGURE!

Nonetheless it felt good being away from the bike for a week or so; it's just the winter break that I have been waiting for.

Happy new year everybody!!

Late December updates

2011-12-23T12:12:00.001+02:00

It looks inevitable. Living a student life in Europe has to be financially meager. Yesterday at around 7 p.m my bank agent called me, saying that my student loan was declined. So much for Christmas shopping. I was on my way to get N a nice iPhone. In fact I was about to make the payment when I received the call. Well it seems that it has to wait for few weeks. On a more positive note, we will be leaving Paris to Beirut via Rome in a couple of hours. The "Aeroports de Paris" website shows no flight delays. A nice surprise, a very pleasant one indeed… with Alitalia you never know! "Ils sont fous ces romains". I am just praying not to lose our luggage somewhere between Paris and Rome. I hate travelling.

Lean christmas in Paris?

2011-12-15T12:45:00.001+02:00

Living off my scholarship money and the small wage N is earning, doesn't allow for many Christmas festivities in a city where Christmas rhymes very well with its name. Ok perhaps I am pushing it too far here, but who wouldn't associate Christmas to Paris? Shopping at La Fayette (or Val d'Europe), drinking hot chocolate at La Jacobine, visiting the marche de noel at la defense, in addition to the hundred other activities one can do.

This year we are enjoying a different version of Christmas period, a leaner version. Where one doesn't eat foie gras but cheap Carrefour made Pâté. If you go to the cinema, you opt for the 2D version instead of the 3D cause it saves you 3.56 euros per ticket. You keep on spreading yourself too thin, until the bank finally approves your 10,000 euros student loan, and then… just then you decide to make it all up! You go and buy your partner those 300 euros eye glasses, just to give yourself an excuse to buy in iPad, two cycling kits, four books, and brand new pair of camper shoes!

This year, santa (or my drying bank account) has brought us two return tickets to Beirut J with the same amount santa could've gotten us a 3 days trip to Amsterdam and an iPad 2… One can always argue that spending Christmas with family and friends as well as drinking coffee at Starbucks Sassine are priceless, while a fine joint in Amsterdam costs around 10 euros. Don't get me wrong I am psyched by the fact that I will be visiting Lebanon I am just presenting a constructive alternative.

Reading period

2011-12-14T11:19:00.001+02:00

As part of tomorrow's mid-term exam preparations, I have dedicated a significant amount of time to read Houellebecq's latest work as a way to fight the exam related stress.

I'm halfway through with the book and not planning to stop before finishing it entirely. After all, perseverance is the key to success.

If I had to describe Michel Houellebecq based on what I have so far read from his book, I would confidently say that he's one hell of a self-centered author. In fact I think he goes way beyond self-centrism. He redefines the entire ego-centrism and self-centrism concepts. However unlike many other mortal authors, he is actually good at it. I even dare to say that he deserves it. The way he describes and market himself in his book (In short, he's a mess!) is so good that you would actually want to go on amazon and buy his entire collection. Unfortunately that is not going to happen. Books cost a lot of money, and they would cost even more if you decide to ship them back home.

The Parisian experience chronicles 2

2011-12-12T18:39:00.001+02:00

As the screaming of my cousin's two years baby daughter punctures my ear drums, here I am sitting in a modern 60 msq apartment located in the western suburbs of Paris trying to detail my life in Paris. A boring subject for some, but a necessary milestone for my sanity…

So it has almost been three months since I have embarked on this "ironic" journey of mine, thinking that I was through with my relationship with Lebanon. Truth is I was never more involved with Lebanon than I am now. My work is centered in Beirut, I report to my boss residing in Hamra. All my cycling training revolves around the Lebanese national championship and the Arabs championship. After years of procrastination I have finally started (all the way from Paris) the necessary paper work that will allow me to build my house in Lebanon. Last but not least I do watch MTV Lebanon practically all day.

Anyway back to what this post was supposed to be about: describing my life in Paris. Well one piece of advice: if you love Paris, stick to the touristic perspective. The daily Parisian life will overshadow its glitter. The Eifel Tower will keep on shining, but not as brightly as seen by the touristic eye. Same thing applies to the Champs Elysees, etc, etc… This being said, you will get to discover one thousand little pleasures in Paris that only a permanent resident would appreciate. These small bookstores concealed from the touristic eye, those small bakeries hidden in some residential neighborhood strange to the feet of tourists.

Amidst all these contradictions, I am leading a quiet life. On a non-university day* I wake up at 9 am every morning, have a small French breakfast while watching "MTV alive". Around 10 am I put on some solid two and half hours of work, and then I go out for my daily two-to-three hours ride. Back at 3:30 pm just in time for a quick lunch before I catch the bus to "Rueil" (where N babysits Chloe, which happens to be my cousin's house). I usually use this thirty minutes bus trip to read some statistics material, before I reach my destination. Once at my cousin's I opt for another solid 2 hours of work. At 7 pm N and myself go back home, pass by the supermarket on our way home, cook a fancy dinner (sometimes) or order Japanese food, eat, chat, watch TV. At 10 pm I am back to my computer screen for another two-to-three hours of work.

Weekends are when we play the tourists in Paris. I think that it is the only way to enjoy the city.

I always thought that this is the kind of life that suits me better. After trying it, I am not sure this is what I want. All my energy is channeled towards Lebanon. A friend once told me: "you hate Lebanon but you can't live outside it"

To be cont'd(…)

*I only go to school one or two days a week.

Lethargy

2011-12-09T13:47:00.001+02:00

Being a very moody person makes me feel (in a one way or another) incapable of doing anything correctly. Which is not completely true. Nor completely wrong!
Perhaps today is one of those days where I feel down and lethargic. I feel physically and mentally worn out; and it's in situations like this one that questions start to pop up into my mind.
For how long are you going to keep this pattern? When will you grow up and start behaving like a rational adult? When will you seek a fixed job and a stable life? When? What if? Bla bla bla bla…
Unfortunately I don't have the answers for these compulsive questions! I usually try to challenge these voices in my head by trying to define normality, the purpose of life and this entire system. GOOD LUCK with that!

…I'm in cold Europe dreaming about Lebanon's blue skies, very typical homesickness syndrome!

Pedaling in stats

2011-11-25T14:45:00.001+02:00

I am not sure whether I deserve this. I'm not even sure if this is a blessing or a curse... But such an opportunity doesn't come really often. Take a year off, to study statistics in France, one of the most cycling-friendly countries in the world! I get to train, and race around 6 days a week, go to school only 2 days a week. For a
competitive cyclist this is heaven without an ounce of doubt! However, being a pessimist makes me wonder if there is something I am missing; that there might be a hidden catch somewhere... Perhaps there is none. What if the price to pay is that I will find it even harder to go back to Lebanon and its chaos after spending one magnificent year in Europe.
Anyway till my visa expires or they kick me out of France, I will keep on pedaling till I stretch my physiological limits and do some stats during my free time :-)

The Parisian experience chronicles*

2011-11-18T09:53:00.000+02:00

It's been two months since I left Beirut and came to Paris. Statisitcs
and cycling were my targets, and I'm getting plenty of those. With
only two days of studies per week, I get to enjoy a relatively high
volume of training; but with the current depletion rate of my savings
account, I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to sustain this
lifestyle. I feel that sooner or later I will have to look for a part
time job which will eat up most of my free time. While plans for a pro-
cycling team are brewing down in Lebanon, my heart longed to getting
back there as soon as I finish my studies. Nevertheless, I can't deny
that the latest political events are making my decision a lot harder,
but that has always been the case of Lebanon: Few megalomaniac
dickheads who think they can change the rules of the game.
...
*inspired from Murakami's absurd novel "the wind up bird chronicles"

Once a freelancer always a...

2011-11-17T09:57:00.000+02:00

What's with this suit-wearing culture of Paris? I've never seen more people wearing suits in my entire life. Whether he works in a pharmacy, a bank or a supermarket... Everybody wear suits. Tho the suit itself is not the problem; it's what the suit stands for: a boring, rigid and fake work environment. I have never seen a smiling suit-wearer. Have you ever seen one?
This entire culture makes my decision of keeping my freelancer status even more relevant. Would a suit make me a better statistician? Would a neck-tie lower my blood pressure when a certain syntax refuses to run according to plan?
I'm telling you this: nothing beats working from home. Wearing your jeans or PJs, drinking your home brewed coffee, with the TV in the background... If you get bored you can easily mount your bike and go operate from starbucks, younes, or any other coffee shop. You could even take your dog for a walk around lunch time.
In my case freelancing is what suits me the most. It's the only way, I can keep up with my training regimen and not having to deal with other people's mood swings.
The problem is, I can not do this in Paris...

French connection

2011-09-29T11:45:00.001+03:00

So this morning I tried sending a probe down my mind to check what kind of emotions I carry for Lebanon…. The results were as excepted! Apart from the village, parents and pets there is nothing left.

In the meantime here I am spending my mornings at St-Michel working (more like trying to work) from coffee shops, enjoying this rarely observed (nice) Parisian weather.

Funny, here I am sitting in Starbucks and the ever-famous-sandwicherie "Paul" facing me… this brings memories of ABC Ashrafieh!

One of the good things about moving to a city where you can rely on a public commuting system is that you can find the time to read without actually allocating a time to read. Just reading in the metro and bus totals to one or one and a half hours a day.

So there you go, my share of useless rambling for the day.

"I've Never Been to Paris" by Damion Hamilton‏

2011-09-17T09:55:00.001+03:00

I've Never Been to Paris

But a friend of mine has,

He's an older gentleman, and

Has a wife from Argentina,

The both went a few weeks

Ago, and he's showing me the pictures

On a laptop, cuz I will probably

Never get to Paris-- yet this

High definition camera he has,

Makes it seem like I am already there

Everything in Paris seems old--

The streets, the buildings, the metro station

And somehow the streets don't seem as crowded

As I thought they would be-

My friends were sitting down a café, and they

Were the only one's there,

They show me the Seine, which is a small river

Compared to my Mississippi

The Gargoyles impress me-- they

Are there to protect the city

I feel wistful and can not help think of Hemingway

And the lost generation, Joan of Arc, Rimbaud, Celine,

Bernadette Soubirous, Frank O'Hara or my friend Francois Bennett

I think of fashion designers and rich people, even though

They have nothing to do with the pictures,

I think I would feel lonely in Paris-the city seems too old

And unreal

I see the cathedrals and the painted glass which are very beautiful

And make see sad somehow,

But I like the people in the their small cars and motor bikes

Drivers seem more courteous in the states,

Paris does seem to be a wonderful city,

And I always seem to be looking for it

Carrying it in the small neighborhood

Of my heart

The other side, where the grass is greener!

2011-09-14T21:39:00.000+03:00

Some things do change

2011-09-14T21:37:00.001+03:00

Three, maybe four years ago, the mere idea of travelling used to cost me weeks of night sleep. Insomnia would kick in with almost 15 days before I travel. My story with wanting to leave this country dates back to 2006. My first trial was a failure… I cancelled the second and third before I actually travel, because just the idea of not waking up in my bed made me nauseous and insomniac. This time things have changed, with only five days to go, I am not having insomnia, no sleepless night, no second thoughts. This time I am ready to move on…

Paris

2011-09-13T14:13:00.000+03:00

This time it’s for real

2011-09-13T14:04:00.001+03:00

I have been talking about it for days, weeks, months and years.

This time I am doing it for real. In seven days I am moving to France. Why? For hundreds of reasons (which I am not gonna go into them now).

This time however, I am not going alone; I have my partner and my bike with me.

This time too, I got a scholarship.

This time I am not going to throw it away.

This time I am leaving Lebanon with a smile on my face.

This time I am not coming back…

Egypt, Tunisia, the social media and the pinnacle of hypocrisy

2011-02-12T11:27:00.003+02:00

Tonight as I opened my twitter feed I was shocked by the number of tweets celebrating Mubarak's resignation and Egypt's successful revolution; it's as if the entire World Wide Web was high on amphetamines. Absolute euphoria! As I type this very post, anonymous people from all over the globe are posting "congratulations" tweets and celebrating the end of a dictatorship, the end of a tyrant.

Indeed revolutions were always popular amongst the "watching" crowd… the passive crowd. In our modern times, a revolution has become one of the best entertaining and intellectually stimulating shows - especially if you live 370 miles away sipping your "American" coffee that you just bought from an anti-American coffee shop in some quiet neighborhood in Beirut. In my part of the world – a severely underdeveloped nation - the Egyptian revolution has become the talk of the town, and the most trendy topic to tweet or blog about. What do you know? We love Egypt and hate Mubarak;

Yet, to my untainted memory, no one bothered to think about neither of them before January 25, 2011 (which is another twitter trend #jan25). Any twitter user can go back to the public twitter timeline, hit the word #egypt and go back 2 months in time: you will not find a single tweet - or to be more precise a single non-Egyptian tweet- attacking the Mubarak regime. So what happened? Where did all this justness, nobility and care for the Egyptian people suddenly come from? My guess is that the twitteratis, facebook users or bloggers just found an exciting new topic to blog, tweet or simply talk about.

The reason behind my post is not to belittle the achievement of the Egyptian people. Honestly I cannot judge whether this is a monumental achievement or just a regular achievement. Nevertheless, it remains an achievement; I will leave it up to history to judge it and perhaps categorize it and quantify it; the same history which will write off the "2005 Lebanese cedars revolution" as an utter failure!

The main reason behind this post is to shed the light on the hypocrisy of the "social media" users. Had they been true believers in freedom and democracy they would've tweeted, blogged or shared their concern about the multiple oppressive regimes that are still reigning the Arab world. Truth is that no one cares - or to give the benefit of doubt – very few care about the fate of the Egyptians. A very recent example is what happened less than a month ago in Tunisia. Same hype, same trend and then what? Nothing! The party is over everybody went back home, and left the Tunisian people to clean up the mess; a mess, which most probably, they won't be able to clean on their own. I am not postulating that the change shouldn't have happened, but actions of solidarity have been magnified exponentially and were only restricted to 140 characters. Talk is cheap, especially when comfortably sitting on your lazy ass having a drink in a certain bar, enjoying your time and using your cutting edge cell phone. What would happen when the revolutionaries in Egypt will wake up in a week or two only to realize that none of this "hyperspace" support will actually help them solve their constitutional crisis or boost their crippled economy?

The next time we decide to selflessly and fanatically support a cause using social media, let us be less hypocritical and run a small background check on that cause before hitting the "send", "tweet" or "join" buttons.

Poetry

2010-12-16T08:17:00.000+02:00

I would spread the cloths under your feet;
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.

(WBY)

2010-12-09T15:04:00.000+02:00

Veganism, carbon footprint and dreams of Olympics qualifications

2010-12-01T14:45:00.002+02:00

We live in a noisy and distorted crazy world! Sometimes I wonder how people can manage to go on with their daily lives totally unaffected by this ubiquitous distortion. Personally, I don't think I can do it. I can't seem to live a normal structured life in the midst of all what's happening around me. The pace that life dictates is too fast for someone like me. So I tend to concentrate my efforts on what I believe are positive actions. In some ways I consider those "actions" to be my contribution to the civil society.

Veganism and reducing my carbon footprint seem to top my priority list. It's a combination of my respect to other living species on this planet (probably more than my respect to humans) and the eco-system that are the main driving engine behind my actions. I believe in "cruelty-free" diet. Modern societies have gone too far in their farming practices; modern farms have become more of industrial sites rather than tradition farming… Anyway let us not dwell over this point, there are a plenty of literature on the net on why veganism is the best step humanity can adopt in order to save this planet. Mind you, I am no perfect vegan, I did cheat a couple of times and had a bit of cheese and Nutella. As for reducing my carbon footprint, I try to adopt a minimalist approach in doing things. Perhaps not minimalist enough, but I like to think of it that way; it can be summarized in buying less stuff, trying to cut on processed food, significantly decrease car, water, and electricity usage, use less cutleries, etc…

I have adapted my work to suit my lifestyle, slow and flexible working hours. So I am getting enough time to train, read, sleep, walk and use public commuting system. Of course this sometimes comes at a cost of earning less, but you can't always have it both ways.

Cycling… hmmm where do I start? Well things have been going in a positive direction. The long training hours (sometimes averaging to 16 hours a week) have paid off in a 3^rd position in national rankings; dreams of Olympics qualifications have started to lure me. The idea was my team mate's. He suggested we ride the Asian Championship to try to qualify at least one rider (in this case it would be him) for the 2012 Olympics; my turn would naturally be 2016; but hey… you've got to start somewhere.

Enough rambling for now! I want to end this post on this high note: Dreams of qualifying to the 2016 Olympics.

Flat black shoes

2010-10-25T06:16:00.003+02:00

I can't remember
what you were wearing
last Friday afternoon.
A trendy pair of
flat black shoes
that's about all
I can recall;
not the trousers
nor the shirt
just those trendy
flat black shoes!

2010-08-23T20:47:00.000+03:00

More pics

2010-08-23T20:46:00.002+03:00

Sundays are all about cycling!!

2010-08-23T20:46:00.001+03:00

Last Sunday I won my first bike race in Bickfaya beating the national
champions of 2007,2008 and 2009 :-)

Tu es cycliste quand…

2010-08-21T13:11:00.001+03:00

- Ton seul jeux vidéo se nomme " Pro cycling manager "

- Pour toi un blaireau n'est pas un animal mais un grand nom du cyclisme

- Tu leve les bras à l'entrainement alors que t'as rien gagné si ce n'est un sprint pancarte .

- Tu à au tour du poignet le petit bracelet jaune livestrong.

- Après une course tu te balade avec ton pti gilet sans manche et ta paire de oakley sur le front.

- Le seul moyen de te reconnaitre à la plage c'est tes marques de bronzage.

- Tu préfère dégonfler ton pneu et feindre une crevaison plutôt que d'abandonner.

- Tu achète tout les mois vélo magazine.

- Tout les ans en janvier, tu sait que cette fois , c'est ton année ! ( mais tu le garde pour toi )

- Dés que tu te regarde dans une glace tu te dit ; oh putain , jsui affuté !

- Ton film préféré est le vélo de Ghislain Lambert.

- Tu peu passer 2 heures a raconter ta plus belle course.

- ta montre n'est pas une rolex mais un polar.

- Les cyclistes de la génération qui te suit sont forcément moins bons...

- Le jour d'une course tu dit a tout le monde que tu marche pas , alors que tu vient de gagner 3 courses de suite...

- Tu ne te rase jamais la veille d'une course pour 'l'afflux sanguin"

- Tu connais un mec qui attaque toujours au départ.

- Tu as participé au débat soquette basse/socquette montante.

- Pour toi , time et look ne sont pas des mots Anglais mais une marque de vélo.

- Tu fait parti de ce groupe.

- Pour toi été signifie ; Tour de France.

- Un mec plus fort que toi est forcement dopé.

- Ton vélo coute plus cher que ta voiture.

- La moitié de tes amis sont aussi cycliste.

- tu as déja dragué la soeur d'un de tes potes cycliste.

- Tu aime souffrir. ( phénomène assez bizarre )

- Ta commande au père noel comporte un nouveau casque , chaussures , selle ....

- Tu sort en boite de novembre a janvier.

- tu mange de la viande blanche et des pates avant une course.

- tu délaisse ta copine la veille d'une course...

- tu dis bidon (et pas gourde)

- un dimanche sans velo est un dimanche raté

- pour toi, "contré", n'est pas un jeu de carte

- tu sais ce que veut dire "sucer la roue"

- pour toi les termes "visser"ou "bâcher" n'ont rien avoir avec du bricolage

-tu gueule sur les mecs qui passent pas de relais

- Quand t'invite des potes cyclistes à la maison c'est des heures a parler matos , et concours de cicatrices.

Late night thoughts

2010-07-14T23:10:00.001+03:00

If I ever got stuck in Lebanon, I know I'll have my cycling training to keep me motivated... Life risking activity given our driving habits, but totally worth it!

However if I ever manage to get out of here, this time I am going to stick with my decision although I know that I will miss this wretched country like hell!

2010-06-08T12:36:00.000+03:00

Goodbye Texas – Hello Lebanon

2010-04-21T20:10:00.001+03:00

Final few hours at the U.S. What a visit. Three weeks of work, fun, and some frustration due to the volcanic ash which got me stuck in here for an additional week.

I am glad I had a good closure, after my last visit to the U.S in 2006. Hope to be back here soon. This being said, I am in a hurry to come back home, many big projects have been put on hold for a while now… 12 hours of flight to Amman… sheeewwwww

City Park (1)

2010-04-12T03:08:00.001+03:00

City Park

2010-04-12T03:08:00.000+03:00

New Orleans Museum of Arts

2010-04-12T03:07:00.000+03:00

2010-04-10T02:50:00.000+03:00

More pics from New Orleans

2010-04-10T02:49:00.001+03:00

2010-04-10T02:49:00.000+03:00

2010-04-10T02:48:00.000+03:00

2010-04-07T20:56:00.002+03:00

2010-04-07T20:56:00.001+03:00

2010-04-07T20:56:00.000+03:00

2010-04-07T20:55:00.001+03:00

New Orleans

2010-04-07T20:55:00.000+03:00

New Orleans

2010-04-07T20:52:00.001+03:00

Well I finally made it to New Orleans, it took me 26 hours, but finally got there. I also had to miss my connection flight from Atlanta courtesy of the U.S custom officer; he found it a bit suspicious that I was a bit chubbier on my photo passport, so he sent me to this special room… wooooo. Anyhow I got on the next plane.

Back to New Orleans, Lovely town, my hotel is in the French quarter (for those who are France fanatics: it is not a real frenchy architecture more of a Euro Disney type of houses with French street names). The French quarter itself is a festive place! Counted more than 85 pubs/bars and restos, mostly Jazz and blues, and this coming week end, they are organizing the French Quarter Annual Festival! Don't know what it's like but from what I have seen so far, it looks promising J

Today was an exploratory day, had to check the neighborhood, so took that as an excuse to go for light 60 minutes run J Located the essential parts: Grocery stores, Bike shops, Radioshacks, shoe stores, and for all of you alcohol fanatics ;-) I located the best bars in town, and yes I will go there!

Weather is great, similar to Beirut. People are extremely nice and somewhat religious, but hey they're huge…

Something to think about

2010-04-05T10:32:00.004+03:00

Freelance sports journalist (click me)

Vegan

2010-04-04T00:11:00.002+03:00

… And so after a very long period of contemplation and a relatively solid period of trial and error, I have decided to take the ultimate step forward and become vegan.

The reason for my choice can be divided into 2 main categories:

1) The respect that I have towards other living creatures, and the entire ecosystem.

2) The respect that I have for my body.

One thing worries me though: I don't need an additional reason to despise the human race! I am already half way there!

New dawn

2010-04-01T11:40:00.001+03:00

And so, after 4 months of training and anticipation, the Tour of Cyprus is over.

Four days of intense rush, intense racing, intense eating, intense massage and intense sleeping.

I wonder how the TdF riders can make it through 21 days of racing! Hats off!

The race was tougher then we thought and so was the competition.

However team Lebanon pulled out pretty well. We managed to get 3^rd position, against strong European teams.

I will write down all the details, on my other blog, which I am trying to resuscitate.

Now that the race is over, I am constantly having this strong desire to race my bike for a living, in other terms go pro or at least semi pro.

Things are already in motion and should become clearer in the near future; so stay tuned

Dusting off my blog

2010-03-18T09:02:00.002+02:00

I am not sure I still know how to do it! wowww it has been so long! Well here I am blogging again.

To be honest it feels like I am standing on a theatre stage without any preparation… Guess I will have to improvise!

Many of my fellow bloggers told me that it is like riding a bike… which brings me to my first point…

Riding my bike is all that I have doing (of course besides work) for the past 3 months, well of course I have been riding before but not as hard nor as much as I have been doing lately. I am managing to pull around 15 hours or 400 km a week… (I know at least 2 or 3 people who have been training as hard, our fellow blogger Nobilis is one of them)… The reason is the Tour of Cyprus, which will start sometimes next week. So training for this event has put everything else in the shade including blogging.

Unfortunately my cycling training has put some of my old friendships in the shade as well… Some of them (friendships) managed to survive, others are still struggling… Some of my friends blame me, saying that I have changed, that I have become obsessed with cycling… which is partially true. My lifestyle has changed, but not my obsessive character….

Anyway…. Let's get back to blogging, I really missed it here. Missed the company. I have never stopped reading other people's blogs though, but have been doing it less frequently. I hope that now I will be able to blog more frequently… stay tuned

My hobbit hole

2010-01-26T13:59:00.000+02:00

2010-01-24T01:25:00.000+02:00

I may not be the first one to say it
But my dream is to ride my bike
Till I am seventy years old or more
And see my grandson outsprinting
me on the slopes of Sannine

Paris

2010-01-22T11:52:00.001+02:00

I want to go to Paris,

People might think of it as a Cliché city

But I don't! I love everything about it

The weather, the caffes, the bikes

It is all I can think about these days

I was meant to live there

So visiting it a couple of times a year is a must

My friend is there at this very moment

I wish I was there too

It's all I can think about these days

I just want to go there

Twitter

2010-01-04T00:31:00.000+02:00

Can't get enough?
Here is an insight to my daily life :)

Mellow afternoon

2009-12-16T16:48:00.000+02:00

I am currently in the bus, On my way to Beirut, Beethoven last night
on the iPod. I always hated our local commuting system, but I always
consider it as a payback to the civil society, in a way trying to
decrease the number of cars, hence decreasing traffic; plus it is a
good excuse for me to walk, not that I need it but the more the
merrier. Today I had my first ride since the cycling season ended on
november 29. It is very nice to get to ride your bike just for fun.
These couple of weeks are my favorite part of the season; no pain, no
strict riding regimen, no burning lactic acids in the legs, just
simple 2+ hours cruising rides through the mountains.
After the ride had the chance to spend some time with Amy, watch TV...
Things I rarely have the chance to do.

Rain is coming, so is my stopping station, umbrella is in the car...

Good Morning Beirut

2009-12-07T09:47:00.006+02:00

I woke up at seven

Fought sleepiness for about ten minutes

Decided to sleep again

Woke up again at fifteen passed seven

Left the bed

Put on my jeans, black sweater,

Black jacket and blue campers

Went to the bathroom

Took my toothbrush

Put some Colgate on it

Started brushing my teeth

Got back to my room

While brushing my teeth

Checked my email

One e-mail from Monster's Job

Back to the bathroom

Stared at the mirror

While still brushing my teeth

"Are they clean now?

Who said that I should

Brush them for three minutes?

It always seems like an eternity"

Two minutes later

Spat in the sink

Washed my mouth

Right when partner

Started the hair drier

"its sound makes me hysterical"

Meanwhile played with the cat

While kicking the second

Cat out of the way

At seven forty five

Partner was ready

Packed up our lunch

Grabbed our omelet sandwiches

Seven forty eight

Started the car's engine

No music this morning

Too sleepy to listen to any music

Ironically, not sleepy enough

To listen to Arnaud Pontus

And Valerie Roy on RFI

Reading the European news

Fifteen passed eight

Dropped partner at work

Five minutes later

Arrived at work

Greeted the brave colleagues

Who fought their way

Through the traffic

To show up for their work

It is almost ten

And so far my day's

Deliverables are a cup of tea

And a blog post

Black books: altered reality

2009-12-05T15:46:00.001+02:00

I love to buy books
That I'll never read
I love their smell
Their color
And their soft texture
They make
me feel
Intellectually and
Culturaly superior
I can trade them
For other books
That I'll never read
Other people will
Love me
Other people who
Buy books that
They'll never read
Together we can
Spend hours discussing
Books that we never read
Reciting verses of books
That other people
Have read
Sharing ideas that
Are not our own
Celebrating ignorance
In its utmost bliss

Merry Xmas

2009-12-05T01:43:00.000+02:00

2012

2009-12-05T00:59:00.000+02:00

After watching 2012 I wish the world had ended 20 minutes after the
movie had started!

Paris

2009-11-13T09:43:00.002+02:00

Fear of the blog!

2009-10-22T12:58:00.002+02:00

I am afraid of blogging

I am even more scared of reading other people's blogs

It's like deciding to go for a 10 km run

After you've been inactive for 2 years!

Have you ever tried that?

Write or wrong?

2009-09-09T11:13:00.006+03:00

This morning we have decided to write again, since we can’t draw, paint, dance nor sing! Write about our daily routine? Perhaps! Write aimlessly? Sometimes that might very well be the case! Write on the kitchen’s floor, write on Roadster’s bathrooms doors, on twitter, on the metro seat, or on the suburb’s street walls! Text your friend at 3:00 am confirming your morning ride, compile your entire PhD thesis on post-its! What’s important is that you write! Write, erase, and write again! Use a quill, a pencil, a type-writer, or a Blackberry if needed! Post your secrets on a post card! Publish on blogger or in New England Journal of Medicine!

Today we’re writing simply because we can!

A glimpse of what I was doing this entire summer

2009-08-02T17:50:00.003+03:00

Marionnettiste

2009-07-20T14:28:00.002+03:00

Sometimes, that's what I feel I really am!

Only I'm the missing part of the picture!

Long overdue update

2009-07-13T09:41:00.002+03:00

I am no longer blogging, simply because i am too busy!
Too busy doing what?
Doing a lot of unimportant things!
Sometimes it's my laziness that takes the heat!
Sometimes I like to put the blame on my cycling training!
And many other times, it's the lack of inspiration!
What to write? What not to write!
Those of you who are familiar with my work would know about the "Do"s and the "Don't do"s!
Well today I decided to write, because I miss writing, I miss documenting my whereabouts, and more importantly I miss connecting with people!

Time management! I suck at it!
Over the past couple of months (perhaps a lot more than that), I have made one of the greatest discoveries of my life: You just can't be totally focused on more than one thing at a time! i.e: if you want to be totally committed to your work... You'd better forget about acing your training, and binging on books!
If it's writing you're seeking... Same damn story!
I guess you get the bigger picture now!

I am not seeking an advice here, but for those of you who read this blog, it would be great if you could tell me what's your primary focus at the time being!

In a middle of a heart beat

2009-05-14T15:28:00.004+03:00

I loved when I used to send my heart pounding
At more than one hundred and eighty beats per minute,
It made me feel as if I were living three lives at a time!
The fallen pacifist that I was,
The dreamer that I am,
The militant that I’ll never grow to be,

Whenever I sent my heart pounding
At more than one hundred and eighty beats per minute,
The abrasive sound of the rubber hitting the road,
Silenced your deafening climax screaming,
Sharpened my senses,
And suppressed yours!

Sometimes when I sent my heart pounding
At more than one hundred and eighty beats per minute,
I did it, as a hopeless attempt
To prevent you from taming it!
I gritted my teeth just as I burst
Into anaerobic molecules!

I have grown to hate sending my heart pounding
At more than one hundred and eighty beats per minute,
Ever since that Holy Grail
Stunk from the smell of death, the taste of flesh,
And the sound of your screaming
On top of my broken body

Now that I can no longer send my heart pounding
At more than one hundred and eighty beats per minute,
How do you expect me to dream?
I have grown old overnight,
My heart no longer beats for those I love,
My brain is dead, my dreams are in a coma!

Clarity

2009-04-23T12:10:00.001+03:00

I know what’s on the menu for tonight
You will drown your dreams
At the bottom of a southern comfort
But the sweet taste of alcohol
Won’t damage your brain cells;
For these have mutated years ago
It won’t ruin your dreams either
This tickling feeling will perfectly suit
Your dark material, my muse
You will blossom into a thousand cacti
Aconites, black locusts and Christmas roses
Your shining will disintegrate feeble minds,
Eradicate normality the way we know it
And shall set free humanity’s greatest gift

Lucidity

2009-04-20T12:00:00.003+03:00

So this is what it comes to in the end:
A camera, a book, a laptop, a cell phone, and a handful of memories!
Funny! Life - in all its pixalized orgasms, fake pictures,
bitter coffee pots, non-matching matches,
endless discussions with an erudite bunch of friends -
summarizes itself into oblivious concepts!
Nothing that can’t be fit in your medial temporal lobes,
a small black handbag, and a free automated digital publishing tool!
Yet somehow, during a brief insane moment
you think that it’s priceless!

Round trip to hell

2009-04-14T10:00:00.005+03:00

Two weeks ago, I crashed while riding my road bike!

Ended up in the ICU! Left the hospital after 4 days!

My physical recovery was swift! I was back on the bike the second day I got out of the hospital!

However, ever since the accident I haven't been the same guy!

Some things have changed! My perspective of life and death, as well as my plans!

I have been dreaming about death much more often; yet fearing it much less!

Darwinism!

2009-03-23T14:49:00.002+02:00

At my height of evolution, I praised myself for finding me a pair of decent friends, and by decent I mean the following: simple yet complex enough to understand human emotions; bookish yet not pretentious about their books binging; ironic yet not hilarious; skeptical yet not faithless (and given my eternal search for faith, you can understand how happy I am).

At my lowest, I loathed myself for being a sample size calculator, for drifting so far away from my dreams, for getting lost within society’s infinite little requirements… for failing to qualify as an exemplary citizen.

At my height of evolution I would have studied literature, poetry, philosophy, photography, or journalism.

At my lowest, I’ve lost my way somewhere between being a mathematician, a programmer, a statistician, or an epidemiologist… which I am not sure I qualify for any of them!

At my height of evolution, I decided to move along, change prospect, chase new delusions, and look for new dreams playgrounds!

At my lowest I decided to leave my friends, their simplicities, their complexities, their irony and their skepticism.

At my height of evolution I am simply not sure, if this is good enough!

Regression!

2009-02-25T16:01:00.001+02:00

Time obsessed freaks! That’s what we are! Days are too short, years are even shorter!
Regress! Regress into timeless obsessed creatures that do not give a damn about deadlines, birth dates, anniversaries, years of experience, silver, gold or diamond jubilees!
Regress into creatures obsessed about change, colors, poetry, philosophy, adultery, sports, literature, music, arts, fine arts, freaky arts! Obsessed about obsession, jealousy, envy, fear, guilt, loneliness, confidence, love, hatred, rage, joy, sorrow or some million other human emotions!

Throw your calendars into the fire! Smash your fancy watches across the wall! Daydream during meetings, debate Darwin’s theory of evolution over the phone, write poems instead of progress reports, blog about the good steak you ate yesterday in some restaurant in Gemayzeh, download Jan Tiersen’s collection!

Say no to additional tasks! Take time to learn Chinese, transcendental meditation or Italian cuisine! Read about your country’s history, and read about the neighboring countries’ history as well! Plant a tree or a Marijuana plant!
Life is ephemeral! Dare to change your paradigm of existence! Live, read, cry, laugh, run, jump, love, hate, quit, challenge… or just dream!

AOL

2009-02-23T10:57:00.002+02:00

I was asked to write a small intro about a fellow blogger... Here it is!

Confessions of an angry fool!

2009-02-17T18:16:00.003+02:00

Who am I? What I want? or what I stand for? Don’t ask me! Such questions must be answered by someone else!

Blood? Blood!! Well it’s like shit, we’re full of it! So don’t talk to me about sisters, brothers, fathers nor mothers! I don’t even want his blood… The excess of wine makes me sick!

You see, I am not seeking forgiveness, for I have done nothing wrong! However I might have a sweet tooth for vengeance! In fact all I want, is to see this wall destroyed, his empire burned to ashes, and his so called heritage to the human kind buried for good!
Shame on me, for defying a flawless concept… and failing to attribute every “blessing” to him. Shame on me for helping a fellow human being without expecting a divine reward in return. Shame on me for not being afraid of hell and not being desperate to go to heaven. Shame on me for adopting the “human rights” as my divine book… instead of going to Sunday school, paying “Al Zakat”, or resting on Shabbat!

Conflicts resolution!

2009-02-11T13:58:00.004+02:00

Honey! guess what I did at work today?
I wore a bomb to a big field of flowers!
Tomorrow I might be luckier,
There might be children and women too!

(Painting by Maroun Kassab)

Ride my pain away!

2009-02-06T22:23:00.002+02:00

(Click to enlarge)

Life through colored lenses!

2009-02-02T18:04:00.002+02:00

The day I loose my sight, I will finally be able to see! For I would become blind to the human atrocities! To fake smiles, and ugly faces! I would become indifferent to religious statues and printed political propaganda! I would become immune to those despicable strangers with their phony sentimentalities, who were shaking my hand in my grandma’s funeral!

However, blindness is still wishful thinking in a dimension where dreams have become as fragile as a nested egg, and hopes have become as insignificant as an atheist prayer and self esteem has become weaker than a pretzel stick!

As my journey towards blindness progresses, slowly yet surely… but not sadly… I’d be satisfied to wear my orange sunglasses so I can hide my bloody eyes, wear my disintegrated scarf to cover my bitten neck, and put on my hat in a pathetic attempt to hide my raw thoughts and pretend I’m just another… normal person… not yet a dreamer!

Nos délires!

2009-01-20T00:53:00.008+02:00

...Et tu as été admise bien sûr.
Tu as quitté Beyrouth pour emménager à Paris,
Un petit appartement dans la rue Dareau.
Je t'ai montré notre quartier, mon velo, mon école, je t'ai présenté à mes amis, à mes profs.
J'ai écouté les textes que tu répétais, tes leçons, tes espoirs, tes désirs, ta musique.
Tu écoutais la mienne, mon anglais, mon rock, mon rape français.
je t'ai donné un ipod, tu m'as offert un oreiller, et un jour, tu m'as offert un enfant.
Le temps passait, le temps filait, et tout paraissait si facile, si simple, libre, si nouveau et si unique.
On allait au cinéma, on allait voir les enfoirés, faire des courses, on riait, tu pleurais, ta mère te manquait trop, on nageait, on se rasaient.
De temps à autres tu criais, sans aucune raison, ou avec raison parfois, oui, avec raison parfois.
Je t'accompagnais a la fac, je révisais mes examens, j'écoutais tes exercices de chant, tes espoirs, tes désirs, ta musique, tu écoutais la mienne, mes délires.
Nous étions proches, si proches, toujours plus proches.
Nous allions au cinéma, nous allions nager, rions ensemble, tu criais, avec une raison parfois, et parfois sans, le temps passait, le temps filait.
Je t'accompagnais a la fac, je révisais mes examens, tu m'écoutais chanter français, anglais, parfois l’arabe.
Je révisais mes examens, tu criais, parfois avec raison, le temps passait, sans raison, tu criais, sans raison.
Je révisais mes examens, mes examens, mes examens, mes examens, le temps passait, tu criais, tu criais, tu criais...

*Inspired from Paris je t'aime

Reality

2009-01-11T20:33:00.009+02:00

I might hold a masters degree in epidemiology, but I am not an epidemiologist!
I have the capacity to love, but I am not the best lover!
I run marathons, ride bicycles but I do not dare to call my self an athlete.
I am not a militant: neither for atheism, nor for peace, nor for any cause! I am not sure if I despise religion, and its pagan rituals;
I am not a music critic, nor a wine connoisseur!
I do not pretend to be knowledgeable in fashion, french cheese or chocolate!
I am constantly surrounded by intellectuals, but I am not sure I qualify as one!
I wouldn't pretend to have a favorite writer, it's just too deceiving and misleading, it also gives an amplified impression that we're intellectuals!

However I am sure of one thing, and one thing only: I am a dreamer! I am a very ordinary human being who feeds on his dreams! I wake up every morning, and instead of preparing a breakfast, I create a dream to get me through the day.... Then I spend my entire day perfecting this non reality, carrying people in and outside this dream.

All my feelings, actions, reactions, mistakes, decisions, uncertainties, abhorrence and love are piped into those dreams!

Paris

2008-12-28T10:52:00.004+02:00

I have been in Paris for sometimes now, testing the grounds... See if i can live there, in order not to repeat the same mistake twice! And most importantly to verify all the bull shit I have heard from friends and family!!

Yes they can talk bull shit as well. For example one of the family members, thought that i can't make it there and that it is not as easy as I think (it's expensive, even air costs money, bla bla bla, I believe that he's... well forget about what i believe)... Some others thought the opposite...

Anyway, had to go see it myself. I am not going to ramble on about the touristic side of Paris... it is too "cliche" for my taste, and anyway I am not your typical tourist...

I really fell in love with the system. The french are too damn socialists!!! they are environmentally conscious (really! I believe that the Europeans are the leaders in this sector)! Simple, rude, and mean! But at least they appreciate what they have! Their public commuting system is so efficient that it scares the crap out of you! and all in all IT IS CHEAPER than Lebanon!!!

Damn it!

I can go on for hours, but I don't need additional reasons to despise the Lebanese people!

Happy Holidays everyone!!!

Sand and Salt

2008-12-15T15:39:00.002+02:00

"Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact."

-One of Dr Mick's students-

Digital blasphemy: Do we dare to dream?

2008-11-20T12:45:00.001+02:00

Librairie Publique

2008-11-18T12:14:00.006+02:00

Musique calme: Brel, les classiques
Lumière : tamisée….
Mur : jaune orange avec des rayures effet humidité ( comme des cartes géographiques)
Grand mirroir au fond, sur lequel est etale un grand chale
Une chaise qui bouge

Grande bibli, trouvée dans une maison, qu'on a nous même décorée et repeint…

Livre: 500 Livres (neufs et usages)

Inscription : 30 000 par mois….

Gateaux fait maison: maman prépare chaque dimanche : mini sable, mini croissant et 2 fois par semaine des cakes….
Confitures fait maison, chocolat….

Partout des posters anciens, des lettres de Baudelaire, de POE, de Verlaine….

Chaque Mardi : Dead Poets Society
Lecture de poèmes par thème

Chaque jeudi: Soirée littéraire
Animation et lecture de livre

Une fois par mois invitation d'un auteur connu!

Entre gris clair et gris foncé

2008-11-12T15:58:00.003+02:00

My life is nothing but a lousy version of my hopes and dreams! But it's ok. No one gets to live their dreams; the best thing we can hope for, is pass so close to them (our dreams) and hope that one day we can converge with them for a certain period of time.

I have been hating my own people for a long period now. I think I got to a point where this hatred has started to consume me; yet it doesn't bother me. However what bothers me is that I have become an alien in my own country. I am unable to relate to the Lebanonians... (I don't want to get started).

I have been living in this bubble for the past 12 months; a bubble that I have created with so much finesse. I have picked its ingredients very meticulously... I have been obsessed about it, to a point where I think that if it explodes before I leave it would create a big mess, and it would scatter the pieces of my soul across the 5 continents.

I am not depressed... I am not the depressive type of people... Although like everyone else I have my ups and downs. I am just suffocating in a place where there is no room for personal growth; and this bubble that I have created will soon have to accommodate another restless soul, and I just don't think that it can sustain both of us... at least not in this hostile womb!

Time to change!

2008-10-14T09:34:00.002+02:00

Enough is enough! I know i say it the whole time, but this time it is for real! It is time to change! I can't stand this farm anymore! Now I really regret it! Coming back from the U.S! Two years later, I really regret it! Of course I wouldn't regret it had I been staying in my house in Bhersaf, 24/7! but unfortunetly I have to leave home and mingle with all the crap!

Ok today is not my best day at all!!

Sample of my daily diet

2008-10-08T23:01:00.003+02:00

Breakfast: 1 bole of cereal + banana + raisins
Snack: 1 apple
Lunch: riz 3a djej (big plate)
Snack: 1 big fruit cocktail + 350 g of yogurt
Dinner: small plate of mjadra + salad + bread
Snack: debess w t7ineh
Snack: 1 banana + 1 apple
Dinner: 2 pieces of grilled fish

Another day in paradise

2008-10-02T15:16:00.002+03:00

Yesterday night, was one of those trippy nights at Gemayzeh... The kind of nights where you feel high... and relaxed... 1 beer, 1 light sandwich... few puffs.... and then you go back home! You sleep... 10 hours later... you wake up feeling different! Why??? I do not know! (but of course I do know!!! it is only a matter of brain chemicals... Anyway I am going to pretend that I don't know!)

When I woke up today, I was feeling stronger, I was feeling at peace!!! I just figured it out, it is all connected now! Just a few minutes ago, I told my colleague that I will resume my work which I have suspended for the last 30 days! I have also came to realize that I have regained my reading concentration, i.e I can read something not related to sports for a change! Whenever I regain my intellectual sense, I feel more at peace!

Could it be that the summer fever has finally passed? Were my previously mentioned problems seasonal? Could that be? Or is it only brain chemicals?

Do I associate winter times with indoor activities such as reading and writing? Furthermore, does the fact that I tend to go for drinks more frequently during winter times have triggered all of this?

The night

2008-09-30T00:42:00.002+03:00

I love the night, I love sitting alone at night thinking about many different things. During those long sleepless nights, I think, think, and think.
I think about a hundred million different things. It kinda drives me crazy.
I think how clueless I am, I also think about my identity crisis.
I think about all the things that I should be doing and that I am not.
I think about how much I am letting myself down, how much I am neglecting my intellectual and personal growth. I am not reading anymore, I am not blogging, I am not writing. I am missing on all these important things and moments... all these important and creative posts. I am scared to loose this connection that I have made with other writers/artists/bloggers (each one in his own way).
I think about how much I am neglecting my photo-shooting hobby.

Despite the fact that I am very proud of my athletic achievements, I am very disappointed by this despicable neglect of my intellectual nurture!!!!

Wake me up when September ends!

2008-09-19T14:05:00.003+03:00

It has been a while since I last posted... The reason is that I was in no mood to sit, concentrate and actually write something meaningful/useful... I can't even concentrate on reading my emails, other people's blogs or the news!

The reason is that things at work are really messed up, and NO I did not get any promotion, it was a miscommunication! (Anyway not in the mood to talk about it)... but it's OK... no big deal typical every day shit...

Anyway enough with the work talk. I have been training hard for the Lebanese Road Race Championship that will be held on September 28th. It is a 130 km race, I really hope that our team will win. As for me... well I don't want to get my expectations too high, however a podium finish seems fair.

Luckily that I have the race to keep my mind off another important issue. This month was one of the weirdest months of my life!!! A lot of changes in all different directions! Too much going on!! I want to talk about them, but not yet, not before I get all the answers!!! At the end of this month my life might go in two different directions!

WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS!

Assertions from a formerly alleged twisted mind

2008-08-21T19:16:00.001+03:00

I am not a feminist.
I am a human rights activist though recognizing the autonomy of women and emphasizing their equality with men.

I can say I am practically and certainly tolerate to LGBTIQ (Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transgendered, Intersex and Queer) persons - I am actually sharing a room with a bisexual I haven't known before.

I look down at politicization of sexuality and bodily rights.

I look down at man-made religions interfering with the most private and intimate of bodily freedoms.

I loathe the way you all call crimes of shame "crimes of honor"!!! Re-think your use of the honor word people!

I loathe the framing of virginity as a political and social control tool.

I cannot tolerate the way feminists force themselves - and other people around them - to find ugly features of women so pretty and so wanted so as not to commodify women bodies! Women can be pretty, slim, sexy and activists too for fuck sake!

Background (and I insisted on keeping it till the end): I've been in Malaysia since last Friday. I applied to an Institute on Sexuality and bodily integrity in Muslim Societies. I got accepted along with twenty four other participants from the Middle East, North Africa and South Asia regions. Throughout these couple of days' contacts with persons from different cultures, backgrounds, religions and sexual orientations, I have come to realize the above stated about my own being. Whoever said that by learning about "the other" we come to understand ourselves … I tell you, you own it man! Totally true.

Angel Of Lust

Job updates

2008-08-07T12:44:00.003+03:00

Just a quick update about the professional life. I think I took it a bit too far with my sporting news (anyway now I have a separate blog for that)... and it took a phone call from a close friend to remind me of that....

Anyway this being said, I have to say that some interesting changes are happening at work. I kinda got a promotion! Don't ask me why! or how! Because I frankly do not know. It seems that they think I am an asset for the organization. Anyway I got promoted into "Evaluation Specialist" i.e it is I who evaluates all the programs and projects undertaken by the organization. Positive over all change... It kinda made me stop looking for another job. Well let's face it! (1) I can come to work at the time I see fit! (2) I can find time to fit in my leisure activities. (3) One of my best friends works closely with me. (4) Work is close to home, which means that I can commute using public transportation. (5) Plus the position seems tempting!

On another note: I got my 3rd publication in a peered review scientific journal!!

Road Bike Diaries 1

2008-07-28T13:23:00.004+03:00

Inspired from the title "Motorcycle Diaries" here is a new series of posts that would address my personal cycling news. I was considering creating a new blog and call it "Road Bike Diaries", however for many obvious reasons I have decided to postpone it for now.

Yesterday there was a small road bike race in town. Kind of a short one: 11.2 km. When I first knew about it, I decided not to participate. However after a lot insistence from my fellow riders, I have changed my mind. After all the "Parcours" is my every day road... however I have never considered racing it.

Anyway, all this being said I have rehearsed the "parcours" once on Friday morning, managed to beat the number 1 rider in town by just a few seconds with a total time of 26 minutes, 07 seconds. I even thought that i can still improve my performance during the race. However on the race day, something went wrong. Despite the fact that I have completed the race in 25 minutes 29 seconds (i.e improving my ride time by 36 seconds), I did not manage to keep up with the better group who managed to improve their times by more than 2 minutes. I even finished around 5 seconds behind Elie a big "Baroudeur" (i.e fighter) but whom I have outperformed on many other occasions.

In my opinion, the reason for not improving as much as others did, is because I lacked something known as the race pace. I know that i am a better sprinter, as compared to others; I also am relatively good climber; I simply lacked the pace. I did not manage to find the needed acceleration at the start and the necessary cadence in the climbs. So I couldn't stay with the strong guys in the climbs, and didn't manage to pull out from the big Baroudeur either, and I got passed on the final 4 km descents/straight line.

I can say that yesterday's result was not what i had expected, however I still managed to improve; perhaps not as much as others who have been riding for at least two years (some of them have even around 7 years in their pocket) I have only been riding for only 6 weeks! If muscles' memory really exist than that would help explain the deficiency I had in yesterday's cycling race, and not in running for example.

I would expect that by the beginning of the next season I would have managed to reach my target weight (around 65 kg) which would considerably improve my climbing acceleration without sacrificing a lot of the sprinting ability.

Le duo du desepoir

2008-07-24T21:45:00.002+03:00

O Rage, O desespoir, O vieillesse ennemie!

N'ai je donc tant vecu que pour cette infamie!

Et ne suis je grossi dans les dinner de Sushi

que pour voir en un jour, Marilyn voler mes Special from Japan!

Mon apetit qu'avec respect tout le liban admire,

Mon apetit qui tant de fois a annehentit les sushis,

Ne fais rien pour moi et trahit donc ma querelle?

Cruel souvenir de ma gloire passée !

OEuvre de tant de Maki en un jour effacée !

Nouvelle dignité fatale à mon bonheur !

Précipice élevé d'où tombe mon honneur !

Faut-il de votre éclat voir triompher Marilyn,

Et mourir sans vengeance, ou vivre dans la famine ?

Marilyn, sois de mes plats à présent gouverneur;

Ce haut rang n'admet point un homme sans honneur;

Et ta grande apetit par cette apetit insigne

Malgré le choix de mon plat , m'en a su rendre indigne.

Et toi, de mes exploits glorieux instrument,

Mais d'un corps tout de glace inutile ornement,

Baguette, jadis tant à craindre, et qui, dans cette offense,

M'as servi de parade, et non pas de défense,

Va, quitte désormais le dernier des humains,

Passe, pour me venger, en de meilleures mains.

Just a friendly reminder!

2008-06-26T10:07:00.002+03:00

Reminder for what? Well a simple friendly reminder that WE i.e. the Lebanese people, are the worst kind of people to walk this earth! I can't see how we can ever build a country with such immoral, chaotic and destructive people. I am not talking about politics; in fact, I would not dare to talk about politics, I would not dare to open this Pandora's Box for the Nth time! I am talking about simple every day life.... the environment... basic discipline and basic rights to your fellow neighbour... driver.... citizen!

We do not deserve this piece of land called Lebanon... What we deserve is a piece of SHIT! With every passing day I get more and more disappointed! and my only reconciliation is the political situation. Indeed, our fair reward for all the destruction and harm that we've caused, is the current political, economical and social crisis! Civil war would be the cherry on top! but you know what? We do deserve it as well... because at the end of the line, we will be the ones shooting at each other!

Why blame the politicians? Seriously? It is not X, Y, or Z who have crippled the country, but the idiots who follows them blindly!

I am simply ashamed to be referred to as Lebanese!!!

Summer changes

2008-06-21T14:49:00.004+03:00

We all need some changes from now and then. However I need change more frequently then others! The change I am currently talking about is work related. I think I am through with classic kind of jobs, in other terms jobs with fixed working hours, fixed working days, and most importantly fixed number of annual leaves! This is why I have decided to change jobs and become a contractual freelancer; however it is worth mentioning that I will not jump into the unknown without working out all the finances and backup strategies.

On an other note, riding has been going pretty well this week. So far I have managed to ride 4 days this week, and tomorrow is the long ride (it should be a century).
Yesterday I went for a ride with a friend who has a mountain bike. Let's say it was more of cyclo-tourism for me. I had to ride at his pace, 1 hour:41 minutes, average cadence 56. Today I have ridden the exact same "parcours" but the difference is that i was riding alone... on my own pace, and I managed to do it in 1 hour : 20 minutes, average cadence 71.

It looks like summer has come in really hard this year! Enjoy the beaches!

Cycling

2008-06-16T19:19:00.002+03:00

It has been a very long period... Indeed it was. I waited around 2 months to get my bike delivered over from the U.S. And it finally did... The Cannondale Six 13-3 (compact) reached "Wilayat Al Faqih International Airport" on Monday June 9... Here are the details.

Hi,

The shipment will be in Beirut on Monday June 9th.
It will be in the shop on Tuesday, and hopefully I will give you the bike on Wednesday with all the accessories you need.
Sorry for any delay or inconvenience

Best Regards

This time, he did not let me down, like the last 4 or 5 times. The bike was indeed in the shop on Tuesday. I couldn't believe that it has finally arrived. Just like I wanted it, just like I expected it, and just like he promised (and just like in the picture).

On Wednesday noon, the bike was ready; and so... after a long wait, I hit the the road and took my first pedal stroke, then the second... the third and off I was sprinting in the streets of Ashrafieh from Sassine Square to Nancy's at Sioufi!

I have never ridden a road bike before; but I have heard a lot about the phenomenal feelings and rush you get whenever you are on the saddle feeling the road's vibration beneath your handle bar... And you know what? They were right. I say it and I mean it, I have never felt such freedom in my life. Although I do have a car that can take me to virtually anywhere I want to go in Lebanon... but this one is different.

I have been riding every day since last Wednesday; my rides were almost climbing. So far I have logged around 150 km in 5 days. On Saturday morning we rode over the hills of Khenshara and Bologna it was a nice trip. Nobilis Tobilis (Fellow blogger and cyclist) and I met with a bunch of mountain bike riders, and they decided to take us for a trip around the hills of Metn to put our legs into test. Although they knew from the very beginning that they had very small chance to compete with us they still rode bravely. They have led us from Bickfaya to Deleb, however as soon as we hit the slopes leading the Zeghreen - Bteghreen and Khonshara they lost their momentum, and very rapidly we passed them without a lot of effort. The situation was pretty much like that the entire ride... However I should pay tribute to Wadih a 41 year old friend who was riding with us and who managed to stay in touch during the entire ride.

Now I need to explain a major bias and misconception about road bikes vs. mountain bikes. Almost all Mountain bikes owners claim that they can not compete with road bikes only because road bikes are 4 or 5 kilos lighter. Well this is partially true. However there is a big confounder factor for which mountain bike owners forget to control for; and that is physical fitness. Road bike owners are usually serious athletes who take cycling very seriously. Trust me on this one you would not be able to sit for 4 or 5 consecutive hours on the saddle, pedaling for hours if you do not have:

great low back muscles flexibility,
very high cardio endurance base (this is why I was running and training to become a marathoner)
And being lightweight (now this is the main reason for loosing more than 38 pounds without being a fat guy to start with)

Besides fitness, you wouldn't plunge into a VERY expensive investment if you weren't serious about the sport. Now this was for mountain bike riders who think that road bike are "faster" than mountain bikes!!!

Yesterday was the big day. We decided to hit the big mountains, now that was a real test for the heart and legs. We were 4 riders to meet in Faraya square at 8:30 am (NT, me and two other friends). According to NT not all riders can make it to the mountain top (at least without stopping for several times), not to mention those who have been riding for only 4 days; but he had rode with me on Wednesday and Saturday, and he knew that I was ready for the BIG challenge.

The road was as following: We ride 12.5km of solid climb going up around 800 m (from 1400 m to 2200m of altitude) then around 19 km of hills arriving Jerd Baalback, then 12.5 km of descent.

Results: I arrived second to the mountain top after NT.

After yesterday's experience and the pain I went through during the climb I have developed some sort of relationship with my bike, because she/it has endured as much as i did, she hasn't let me down, even on the steepest section when i was standing and putting all my weight and strength on its handle bar, she/it didn't let me down, not even on the steepest descends. I have finally came to realize the kind of bond my friends used to tell me about, it kind of become some sort of an extension to your body, you simply learn to love your bike!

The Half Marathon

2008-06-04T19:46:00.002+03:00

On Sunday June 1, 2008 I ran my first Half Marathon. As you all know by now, I have been training very hard for the past 5 months, and it was time to put myself through a test and see where I stand. Being a 21 Km race, the Half Marathon is considered a serious race, for those who take sports seriously, which is what I do. However to my bad luck, during my preparation for the race, i.e. in the last 5 weeks I had an overtraining injury "tendinite" or "inflamation du tendon" and it hurts like hell.

I went to see the physician 2 days before the race, and he said that I can run, however I should warm up for around 1 hour before racing! This came as a wonderful news, despite the fact that i wasn't able to train properly during the last 2 weeks! so I ended up logging half the distance that I should have done, and replaced running with cycling, since it is less demanding on the "tendon".

Anyway back to the race, it started at:

Biel ==> Corniche (manara)==> Tal3it el rawsheh (that one was a bitch)==> Ramlit al bayda ==> Tunel that leads to corniche al Mazra3a (another uphill killer) ==> Cola ==> Tayyouneh ==> 7eresh Beirut ==> Velodrome ==> Mat7af ==> Badaro ==> Furn el Cheback==> Abraj ==> Corniche al naher ==> Burj Hammoud ==> Gemayzeh ==> Downtown ==>Biel

Time: 2 h 12 minutes. As a first race, I am satisfied given the fact that up till Kilometer 16 I was aiming for 2 hours, but arriving to Gemayzeh my legs have betrayed me!

Lessons Learned:

Buy a foot pod.
Pace yourself!
Marathon runners are Champions, real heroes! (probably the toughest physical achievement someone can do)!

Do it again? Definitely.

Next races on the list:

1) The 10 km race, held at the end of 2008 summer (I believe that between cycling and running I would not be able to be well prepared for the marathon, which requires at least 3 months of serious training).
2) The next Half Marathon, in 2009
3) Marathon 2009.

In my attempt to recover faster, i had a small 8 km run yesterday, however I realized that i still need some additional time for recovery, this is why I am spending my afternoon with Amy in Bickfaya!

Amy's Picture of the Day

2008-05-18T13:44:00.002+03:00

CIVIL WAR 2: The coup that did and will not work

2008-05-10T08:19:00.002+03:00

The thugs of HA are still capturing the heart and the west side of Beirut. News reports are talking about impossibility to lift the siege of Beirut before reaching a "Package deal" that includes but is not restricted to:

An affirmation of the divinity (divinity, yes just like the Bible, Qoran, etc,...) of HA missiles, telecom, multimedia, etc...
An new gvt in which they get to have their favorate and strategic ministries.
An electoral law that guarantees that the useless growing number of their partisans secures a bigger percentage of MPs.

Meanwhile people (and mainly the citizens of west Beirut) have grown to hate them. I have never knew that hate might grow so fast in people's heart; but obviously I was wrong. The dark lord is capable of anything. He and his orcs did not leave a space for reconciliation with at least two thirds of the Lebanese population.

What the fuck was he thinking? A coup d'etat in Beirut? Didn't he realize by now that Lebanon is not Palestine, and that Beirut is not Gaza?? How dumb can a person get? The Lebanese people are the worst, they cannot (or barely can) be governed by law and order, and certainly not by force! nor a military coup d'etat!

Did you really think that those zombies can turn the situation upside down?

Did you think that Fouad Seniora and his ministers are standing alone in the dark? Wlek ya habibi, ya 3youneh, Worst case scenario i.e bi anyak el a7wel they represent 50% of the people! and you can not win your fight that easy over an entire half. This is the law of physics or the physics of wars, or call it what ever you want.

There is no need to dwell on this, I have to recap and say that this act of idiocy has only multiplied the hate-club of HA, Amal, and what is left of the FPM. Yesterday Michel Aoun held a press conference and wished the Lebanese happy coming days! Is he for real??

Anyway I will leave you with the very touching words of Sahar Al Khatib, just to get a feel of what I was trying to describe.

CIVIL WAR 1

2008-05-09T09:21:00.003+03:00

The thugs of HA have taken control of West Beirut, and shut down 2 TV stations, a news paper, and a radio station (all belonging to Hariri) but what do we know that's the freedom of speech in Mordore. Will these orcs continue their way towards Ashrafieh? I hope not! why not? well first because I want all this shit to be over. Second because Ashrafieh is not Hamra, nor West Beirut! and I think that the LF militias have well earned their reputations!

The Army is still totally useless. No matter what happens I think the things will never ever be again the same between Sunnis and Shiaas! That is never a good indicator, since Hizb Tizeh does not represent all the Shiaa, and even if he did, Shiaa represent only 20% of the Muslims in the entire world; i.e: they will be drowning in Sunni sperms soon!

Anyway a reminder for the future: I think that the majority of Lebanese will be dancing and partying once Hassan Nassrallah is killed or assassinated.

CIVIL WAR

2008-05-08T19:19:00.002+03:00

There is nothing much to say except that civil war has started. This time it's for real, the orcs/zombies of HA has started invading the streets of Beirut, which has ignited a huge sunny response (I am not saying that is justified) but as response to HA closing the different entries of West Beirut (pardon the term) the sunnys who have studied well the demographic distribution of HA partisans have cut all the road to and from the Bekaa hence making it impossible for them to commute to the South, Beirut or Mount Lebanon... Oh they also cut the road of masna3 leading to syria. Kello anyak min ba3do!! w kello jehiz lal 7arb!! I wonder where the fuck is the Lebanese army!

I hope that the rest of the idiots in the country stay calm!

I just received an sms from my boss, saying that tomorrow we should operate from home!

Enjoy!

Updates

2008-05-06T17:07:00.002+03:00

It has been a while since I last wrote... I am ashamed of myself. I really am. Last day I was listening to "L'atelier des medias" on RFI, they were talking about "Le Web Participatif" and the importance of bloggers in enriching the web; so i decided to re-take blogging seriously (at least try to do it). OK enough with the pre-contemplation stage... Let us move to the updates.

I HATE THE LEBANESE PEOPLE; or at least most of it. We are among the most chaotic and the most unethical people walking this planet. We don't respect our land, our neighbourhood, our community, this is why we don't deserve to be respected. Damn it we don't even respect ourselves. Seriously I have been studying the behavior of the Lebanese people for the past 6 years, and my opinion is that we deserve all what it's happening to us... We even deserve much worse than that. SERIOUSLY. I am ashamed of calling myself Lebanese. Politics aside (honik 7adiss bila 7araj)! Every time i become desperate of the situation, I think that the Lebanese people deserves much worse than this, and everything starts to make sense to me.

On another note, I have been training a lot, on daily basis. I am preparing myself for the upcoming Half-Marathon. Today I ran 17 km, besides the daily 10 km. Bike updates to come later on.

Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome my new bike

2008-04-22T23:37:00.005+03:00

People it has finally come to this. All this training, all this hard work, all this sacrifice, countless hours spent running and cycling (indoor), more than 22 pounds lost and the road towards endurance is still at its very beginning - endurance was not built in one day!!

When I first started exercising 4 months ago, I had one thing in mind! Become fit in order to cycle... and by cycling I don't mean 1 or 2 hours of cycling every now and then; by cycling I certainly do not mean mountain bikes... By cycling I mean serious cycling. daily mountain climbs, daily rides (50 km+) and on Sundays we go for 5 or 6 straight hours! Covering great distances at a fast pace... We Like to call it Tour Du Liban!

So what do you think about my Cannondale Six13 3 (compact)??

Reality

2008-04-12T19:01:00.002+03:00

Every time I come back home after several days of absence, I realize how blessed I am to have what I have. In a time where misery is everything that Lebanese are thinking about, I take a look around me and see that I can't but be happy and grateful for the following reasons:

1) I have the strongest bond with my father, who is also my closest friend.
2) My family values and respect the Eco-system and all living creatures... we try to live in harmony with nature
3) Our house is located on a hill, no people around us, no sounds of car horns, and most importantly no pollution
4) Dad, Mom, Sister and I, are very conscious of the importance of prevention regarding our health... we learned the hard way but at least we're there.
5) The 4 of us are working.
6) We have a small farm (20 Chickens, Pigeons, Ducks with a small pool, a golden retriever, and one Persian chinchilla).
7) Besides our nuclear family, we're on a very good terms with the first degree family extension (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc,...)
8) I can't think of anything that I wanted and didn't get or achieve (however everything I own - besides the roof on top of my head- I earned it myself)

Don't get me wrong, but I just needed to count my blessings to realize that I shouldn't take anything for granted and to realize how blessed we are as compared to many other families who are living in deprivation and misery.